Thursday, March 6, 2014

Dealing with loss

People always say you never know what you have until you lose it. I think that sometimes, you know exactly what you have and you know that losing it will be terrible, but you never really understand just how terrible until its actually gone.

Mommy & Me - cutting cake on her 60th Birthday
Growing up, my mother was my rock, the glue that held my family together and the person who taught me that above all else, trust God with everything. When she was diagnosed with Stage 3 Ovarian cancer, part of me died. I was faced with the harsh reality that one day soon, she'd be gone. The day came eventually and whilst I was sad, a part of me was grateful that her suffering was done. That kept me sane for a while; well until I realised that I could never ask her what recipes I could make with the local "farine" I have had on the dinning room table for several weeks now.

Losing important people in your life sucks, big time. No matter what anybody says, it never really gets easier. You just learn to cope and keep yourself occupied. Thankfully, we Christians have an advantage. We know that our loved ones who have died in Christ will live again. We know that their earthly suffering has ended and that they will never know suffering again. People say that we'll see them again in heaven but honestly I'm not so sure that when we get there we'll even be interested in finding long lost loved ones. I may be wrong, who knows - I guess we'll find out one day.

Today's post is to comfort those of us who've lost the most important people in our lives. Until I lost a parent, I always thought that I understood what it would be like for an individual to lose a parent. Now, I know that I wasn't even close to imagining the pain. One year later, the only people who I speak to about losing my mother are my two friends who also lost parents. It feels like nobody else really gets what I'm going through. Speaking to my friends who understand my pain makes me realise, that I'm not the only one who feels that way. They echo my sentiments and tell me that they don't talk about it either cause people whose parents haven't died don't get it.

It's easy to simply shut everybody out of ours lives because they simply don't get what we're going through. That's not always a good thing though, because in spite of the fact that people don't get it, sometimes they can actually help.

Be reminded also, that in spite of the fact that our earthly friends simply don't get it, God does. He still has our backs, even when you don't understand (like me) why he had to take our loved ones. Find comfort and strength in him. Stay focussed on today's tasks and preparation for a successful future. If at all possible, find someone who actually understands to speak to about your loss - talking really does help.

Stay blessed and have a bearable day.

Devotions like this one and others can be found in the Soul Food Series in Kindle or paperback format. 
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