Monday, July 23, 2012

Should you take him/her back?

About two weeks ago, we spoke about a woman who would choose to stay with a man after years of physical abuse. We know that it's something that happens all the time and even though it doesn't make sense, it happens. Today however, we're going to discuss another side of things.

Today's question is this.
Would you return to a relationship where your partner treated you badly even though he has apologized and seems repentant?

In Finding Romeo our heroine Daynia faced this dilemma. The love of her life claimed that he was changed and he wanted a second chance:. In fact, everyone around Daynia was convinced that Richard was a changed man, but even though she could see the changes, she struggled with the decision to open her heart to him again.

That is a very understandable situation. When someone breaks our trust, a normal reaction is to banish that person from our lives forever. However, from a Christian perspective we are taught forgiveness. Does forgiveness mean that you have to take the person back? Does it mean that you should even talk to the person again? Does it mean that you must open your heart again to someone who has basically treated you like crap?

My take on this situation is and always will be that forgiveness does not mean that I should give an individual another opportunity to hurt me. What it does mean is that I should no longer concentrate on what an individual has done yo me in the past. It means that must no longer hold a grudge. It means that I must treat the person with kindness and love. It means that I must not be reproachful. It does NOT mean that if I am not sure that the person is truly genuine that I should make room for them in my life again.

From a Christian standpoint, my answer to the original question is this: if you love someone and you are sure that you can see God working in the lives, give them time to mature and if it is the way you are being led, then by all means go for it.

What's your take on the topic? It is discussion Monday so feel free to jump in.

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  1. I agree with your last paragraph, but add that you be sure that the relationship was what God wanted for you in the first place. The guy may have been saved etc, but did God confirm in your spirit that he was the one for you. Maybe its a case of forgive, and move on, Be friends. :)

    1. You're quite right Laurell, in a lot of cases that's what it really is. Forgive, move on and be friends.